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	<title>modernguy</title>
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	<pubDate>Sat, 26 Jul 2008 21:34:39 +0000</pubDate>
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		<title>In his defense, the mower had a blade</title>
		<link>http://www.modernguy.com/59/in-his-defense-the-mower-had-a-blade/</link>
		<comments>http://www.modernguy.com/59/in-his-defense-the-mower-had-a-blade/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 26 Jul 2008 21:31:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Joe</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.modernguy.com/?p=59</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Man arrested for shooting his own lawnmower:
A Milwaukee man who shot his malfunctioning lawn mower in a fit of possibly drunken rage faces a felony weapons charge, authorities say.
Police arrested Keith Walendowski, 57, Friday after officers said they found an illegal short-barreled shotgun and a handgun along with ammunition for both in his basement, the [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Finally, a reason to go to Vegas</title>
		<link>http://www.modernguy.com/56/finally-a-reason-to-go-to-vegas/</link>
		<comments>http://www.modernguy.com/56/finally-a-reason-to-go-to-vegas/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 31 Mar 2006 13:21:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Joe</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://modernguy.com/56/fially-a-reason-to-go-to-vegas/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The World&#8217;s Largest   Buffet:
Forty soups, 100 salads and 150 desserts perched   upon a 500-foot (152-meter) maze of tables.
It was enough &#8212; 510 different dishes in all &#8212; to qualify   on Tuesday for a Guinness record for the World&#8217;s Largest   Buffet.
&#8220;I&#8217;m interested in trying some of the desserts [...]]]></description>
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		<title>The next FOX reality show</title>
		<link>http://www.modernguy.com/58/the-next-fox-reality-show/</link>
		<comments>http://www.modernguy.com/58/the-next-fox-reality-show/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 31 Mar 2006 00:35:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Joe</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://modernguy.com/58/the-next-fox-reality-show/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[How about &#8220;When Super Models Attack&#8220;?
 Supermodel diva Naomi Campbell went ballistic on her assistant Thursday, flinging a cell phone at her assistant&#8217;s head, sending her to the hospital, police said.
The 41-year-old assistant wound up with four stitches and the 35-year-old Campbell, among the highest paid models in the world, wound up at the Midtown [...]]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>That&#8217;s not Mountain Dew</title>
		<link>http://www.modernguy.com/57/thats-not-mountain-dew/</link>
		<comments>http://www.modernguy.com/57/thats-not-mountain-dew/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 31 Mar 2006 00:26:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Joe</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[A convenience store clerk pleaded no contest Thursday to felony charges of  tampering after he urinated in a bottle of soda that was later drunk by a  customer who became violently sick.
Link
]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>The saddest addiction of all</title>
		<link>http://www.modernguy.com/55/the-saddest-addiction-of-all/</link>
		<comments>http://www.modernguy.com/55/the-saddest-addiction-of-all/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 31 Mar 2006 00:19:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Joe</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://modernguy.com/55/the-saddest-adiction-of-all/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A disease I probably don&#8217;t need to worry too much about: &#8220;workaholism&#8221;.  From Reuters:
Sam used to sneak into his office before dawn so no one would know how many extra hours he worked. Charles goes on all-night work binges to meet deadlines, and Susan can&#8217;t say no to volunteer projects, social clubs, bridge games, [...]]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>Best headline ever</title>
		<link>http://www.modernguy.com/54/best-headline-ever/</link>
		<comments>http://www.modernguy.com/54/best-headline-ever/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 17 Mar 2006 18:46:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Joe</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://modernguy.com/54/best-headline-ever/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Flying Cow Leaves Two Police Cars in FlamesÂ 
]]></description>
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		<title>City Worker Sues Self For Negligence</title>
		<link>http://www.modernguy.com/53/city-worker-sues-self-for-negligence/</link>
		<comments>http://www.modernguy.com/53/city-worker-sues-self-for-negligence/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 16 Mar 2006 01:38:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Joe</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://modernguy.com/53/city-worker-sues-self-for-negligence/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This is a little confusing, so pay attention.  Curtis Gokey sued the city of Lodi, California, because a city worker backed a trash truck into his parked car.  The city worker in questions was&#8230;Curtis Gokey.  That&#8217;s right, Mr. Gokey was suing himself.  Sort of.  Maybe you should just go read [...]]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>New York Times drops ball on hairy lobster</title>
		<link>http://www.modernguy.com/52/new-york-times-drops-the-ball/</link>
		<comments>http://www.modernguy.com/52/new-york-times-drops-the-ball/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 15 Mar 2006 05:22:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Joe</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[According to the New York Times, the newly discovered hairy lobster would &#8220;probably taste like rotten eggs.&#8221; Well, &#8220;probably&#8221; isn&#8217;t good enough, New York Times. The world wants to know for sure what the hairy lobster tastes like. And no melted butter, either.
]]></description>
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		<title>Beer on tap</title>
		<link>http://www.modernguy.com/41/beer-on-tap/</link>
		<comments>http://www.modernguy.com/41/beer-on-tap/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 15 Mar 2006 00:24:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Joe</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;m moving to Norway!
OSLO, NorwayÂ &#8211;It almost seemed like a miracle to Haldis Gundersen when she turned on her kitchen faucet this weekend and found the water had turned into beer.
Now, if only they could figure out how to get pretzels from the ice dispenser.
]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>Welcome to my Murray</title>
		<link>http://www.modernguy.com/40/welcome-to-my-murray/</link>
		<comments>http://www.modernguy.com/40/welcome-to-my-murray/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 15 Mar 2006 00:09:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Joe</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://modernguy.com/40/welcome-to-my-murray/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Obviously, I haven&#8217;t been writing column length humor in a long while.  I&#8217;ve been busy with my ant farm (or some other excuse that&#8217;s more believable).  So I&#8217;m going to try something new here.  I&#8217;m just going to make a bunch of frequent posts.  They&#8217;ll usually be short, and sometimes I&#8217;ll [...]]]></description>
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